Resolutions for the new year

Ok all, I know, I know -- it has been way too long since I last blogged! Where on earth did the month of December go?? But it wasn't completely slacking off on my part; my excuse is the business of finals, Christmas show performances, two new jobs, planning a wedding, and just the hecticness of the holiday season. Those are pretty good excuses...right?

But enough of excuses! Let's get back to this business! The talk that I've been studying most recently is 'Of Regrets and Resolutions' by President Uchtdorf (which has made me guilty every time I read it because I obviously didn't have much resolution to get it done). This really is a fabulous talk! Uchtdorf has such a wonderful way of speaking. He is so personable, and yet so direct and profound. He starts out by saying, "My dear brothers and sisters...we are all mortal. I hope this does not come as a surprise to anyone." Although he says this slightly tongue in cheek, this message is vital to understand to truly grasp  and to truly internalize his message. His message is one of regrets. Of things that all men inevitably wish they had been better on.

The problem is, how can we truly regret unless we have an idea of an ending? We do not regret until we see the end is near. The end of the semester is when we regret not staying on top of our schoolwork and studying more. The day before Christmas is when we fight the crowds at Walmart and regret not starting our shopping sooner. The end of the year is when we regret not completing all the resolutions we made at the beginning of the year.Those who do not have regrets are those that have foresight. They are those who are at the beginning, but can still see the end. This is an extremely hard thing to do. Why else would there be so much regret still in the world? But until we can do that, the rest of Uchtdorf's talk is useless to us. We can say how wonderful it is, and how much we felt the spirit, but until we can look to the future (near future for some of us, distant for others) of our mortality, we will find ourselves with these same regrets, wishing we had had these same resolutions.

That is why it is so important to realize that we are indeed all mortal. Such an obvious fact, and yet somehow it does surprise us when we are on the edge of mortality and look back and realize that it is over. That there is no unwind or redo or tomorrow.  This is an end that we don't anticipate, even though we all know that it is the universal end. I say this not from experience, obviously, but from the experiences and words of others. It is important for us to learn from them. There have been many tragedies lately that have caused us to reflect on our lives and hold our loved ones more closely to us, and try a little harder to be closer to God. I hope that we can take these experiences of others and internalize them, and realize that neither us nor our loved ones are immortal, and if we don't strive to be closer to them today, we will regret it tomorrow.

Uchtdorf gives 3 basic regrets in his talk:
1- I wish I had spent more time with the people I love
2- I wish I had lived up to my potential
3- I wish I had let myself be happier

None of these are really very surprising when you look at the world today and the things that the world says are important. Each of these are things that I could go on and on talking about. But that's not really how I want to go about this. I think for each of these regrets, it is important for every person to come up with their own resolutions. There are many, many different ways that a person could prevent these regrets, but not every way is good for every person and every circumstance. What is important, and I believe universal, is that to actually achieve the resolutions to these regrets is to have actual tangible and achievable goals. When I first heard this talk, I thought it was wonderful and inspired. I resolved that I was going to spend more time with the people I loved, live up to my potential, and let myself be happier. The only problem was, I didn't ever come up with a plan, or a goal, on how I would do that. Somehow I thought simply by wanting it, I would achieve it. And thus here I am, months later, and I don't feel like I have accomplished these things.

But the second time I read it through was different. I realized that I needed something specific I could work on so that I could actually see my progress on these resolutions. I realized I needed goals that were SMART (specific, measurable, accountable, realistic, and timely). I decided to write down some specific things that I would do for each one, and look back at them often and record and reflect on how I was doing on them. My mind really likes lists, and check marks, and writing things down, so this method has been very productive for me. But the method really doesn't matter so much as the goals. Make them specific, make them attainable, and if possible, make yourself accountable for them by describing your goals to others and using their encouragement to help you. Look at these three regrets. I think it would be awful for any of us to be on our deathbeds and feeling these regrets. Don't just resolve not to have these regrets. Resolve to specific goals to help you prevent these regrets. The new year is the perfect time to begin new resolutions and to start a life without regrets.