Long time no see!

Hello All!
Sooo....it's been quite a while since I've last blogged. I have tons of excuses...getting married, Bryce having surgery, moving, getting a new job...things have definitely been busy! But I've missed writing on here. And I get a lot of people asking about updates with our lives so, I decided this would be a good place to do that.
Previously, I used my blog purely for spiritual posts, specifically my thoughts and studies on general conference talks. I still want that element to be there, but I don't want to have a completely separate blog for everyday posts so...it'll be a bit of a smorgasbord! I guess I'll just write about whatever I feel like...it is my blog right? ;)

Anyway, I wasn't really sure what I wanted to write about, just that I wanted to write. But I've been thinking about an experience that happened to me and my friend a couple months ago.
My close friends probably know, I'm slightly obsessed with book signings. Well, books in general, but when I get the opportunity I LOVE to meet the authors and get my books signed! And Utah has a lot of really awesome, really talented authors! Really! Brandon Mull, Brandon Sanderson, James Dashner, Shannon Hale, Josi S. Kilpack, Sarah M. Eden, Gregg Luke...like, a lot of really great authors. (Side note, one of the great things about fall, is there are so many book signings!! I've already been to a few, and still have more to go to!)
I also have a few close friends who love to go to book signings with me. A couple of months ago there was one in Sugarhouse. My friend and I decided to go even though it was a little far, but Bryce couldn't come with us. I don't even remember why. But that's ok, because we had google maps to get us there in tact and on time! Er, well that was the theory anyway. I'm sure if I had taken the time to really read all the directions, or better yet print them off, that would have been the case, but I was in a hurry and figured all I really needed was to see which exit to get off and then write down the directions from there. What I didn't realize was, the exit number was for I-80...not I-15.
So needless to say...we got lost. I'm not even sure what city we ended up in, and had absolutely no idea which direction we even needed to go to get to where we wanted to be. Even my good friend Emily who is amazing at directions didn't know where we were. And that was the scary part. (Another side note...I just realized that Bryce has never heard this part of the story since Emily and I both decided that it would be better/less embarrassing to just leave it out....hi honey! Surprise surprise, your wife has no sense of direction!) Neither of us knew it at the time, but both of us took that time while we were wandering aimlessly around the Unknown City to say a silent prayer that we would be able to find our way. We stopped at a gas station hoping somebody there would be able to give us directions. We approached the man behind the counter and asked him , and not only did he have directions for us, he even had a map! We raced on and barely made it to the store about a minute before the event started. Yes! We were pretty proud of ourselves. :)
Since we'd gotten to the event so late we were pretty far back in line, so we decided to wander around for a bit. After all, it was a book store, so there should be plenty of things there to keep us entertained, right? Well...we were really far back in line. Even the bookstore was not enough to keep us entertained. So we decided we'd just run and go get something to eat to kill some time (we had tickets to save our place in line.) We wandered about some more in the car until we found a McDonalds and got ourselves some yummies.
Now this is the interesting part. I don't know how it happened. For the life of me I can't remember. We got out of the car to head back into the store, leaving our food because we weren't sure if we could bring it in. After seeing that we were still a ways back in line, we went back out to finish eating. I started rummaging in my purse looking for my keys as we walked back to the car. My purse is pretty much a black hole that eats up everything as soon as it lands in there, so I was having a hard time finding them. A really hard time. I was still shuffling through my mess with straps when we got to the car. We stood there as I rummaged some more. I began taking everything out, feeling a little panicky. I looked through the driver window. And there were my keys. Just sitting there in the ignition.
I hadn't even taken them out of the ignition! I tried the door. It was locked. I had locked my keys in the car with them still in the ignition! I didn't even know that was possible!! Only once before have I locked my keys in the car...and since then I've been pretty conscious about it. It's almost muscle memory for me to take my keys out, drop them in my purse, and then leave the car! But there they were, dangling for all the world to see, with my car locked tight and not a window pinched open. Oh, and our food was inside.
I had NO idea what to do. I know that really cool people can get their cars open with a coat hanger or something, but not only did we not have a coat hanger, or anything even close...I'm just not one of those really cool people who would even know what to do with the hanger even if we had one.
So I called Bryce. 'Hello husband who is an hour away, guess what I just did??'
Our car is one of those fancy (not really) ones that has a key pad on the door that can unlock the car with the right combination, so even though we had never used it before and I had never asked Bryce about it before I was really really hoping that he would know the combination and that the problem would be fixed quickly and painlessly. But things never go that easily, do they? Not when the only other way to get into the car is a clicker on a keychain in a house that's an hour away. Bryce...didn't know the combination. He gave me a couple to try (he knew there was a one in it...and maybe a nine?...) but none of them worked. We didn't have it written down anywhere. Like I said, we never used it. By this time, I was feeling sick. I just felt so dumb! How could I have left the keys in the ignition and locked the car with all our food?? There was no other way around it. Bryce was going to have to come down with the extra clicker to open it. I felt so bad! I was pretty sure he had plenty of better things to do than to waste an hour coming down just to open the car and then drive an hour back! If only I knew the combination!!
I felt like crying. I was really close. I told Emily I would keep fiddling with the code and she should go ahead inside and wait for our numbers. Mostly because I didn't want her to see how upset I was. She left, and I took a deep breath and tried another random five digit code, hoping beyond all hope that I could get it open before Bryce had to come all the way down. Nothing happened. I felt a few tears drop onto my cheeks, so I closed my eyes tight and said out loud word for word, 'Heavenly Father, I know it's a long shot but please please bless me that I can guess the combination. I opened my eyes and didn't even give myself time to think before punching in five random numbers and hearing a soft click. I'm pretty sure I stared at the door for a full minute. Right before swinging open the door, grabbing the keys and slamming the door back shut as fast as I could. I cradled those keys like they were my first born child. I couldn't believe it! I had actually guessed the right combination! Now I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty sure that even knowing there was a one and possibly a nine in the com, there would have been hundreds of different combinations and I could have been at it all night. But I had guessed it. It had only been like, my sixth try.  And my first one, right after I had prayed.
I knew that right there a small, precious miracle had just occurred. At that moment I had felt such a surge of gratitude and love for my Heavenly Father, and for this experience that he'd allowed me and my friend to have. We had no one to turn to but Him, and he had showed us how much he loved and cared about us. I had already had a testimony about prayer, but I had never had one answered so immediately and so powerfully as that one. Now maybe this story seems like not that big a deal, or maybe even a little bit silly. But for me, it has become one of the most precious and poignant examples of my father's love for me that I have yet had. He knew how badly I felt. He knew how badly I wanted to be able to get into the car without Bryce having to come all the way down. He also knew that I wasn't going to die if I didn't get it open myself. Or Bryce, or Emily. He knew that in the grand scheme of things, it really wasn't that big a deal. Or maybe it was. Because He answered my prayers anyway. I won't pretend to know God's purposes, or his reasons for opening my car (because I do know that it was Him), but the answer that keeps coming to my heart is because He wants me to know that He loves me. He wants me to know that He loves me enough to grant a miracle, even though I didn't need it. He wants me to know that He loves me so much, that he's not just there for Needs. He's there for wants. He wants me to know that prayer is not just a nice thought, something that we can do to comfort us when we're feeling down or scared, but that it's real. And that he has fashioned the order of prayer because He loves us.
On the way home from the booksigning Emily and I were both so filled with gratitude that we said a prayer out loud thanking Heavenly Father for helping us. That prayer felt so sweet! For it was because of prayer that God was able to help us, and because of prayer that we were now able to thank Him.
I try really hard now to be more purposeful in my prayers. I'm not perfect at it by any means, but it has certainly helped me to take the time to slow down and talk to God. I have a greater love and appreciation for those times of prayer. And a greater sense of familiarity.
I know that it's not just me that God loves, but everyone. I know it's hard to feel that just by listening to someone else's story, but please don't just listen to my story! Put it in action! Make a renewed effort to really pray sincerely. Thinking back on this story, one of the things I really love about it is how sincere my prayer was. I'm sure if I had taken a moment to compose myself I probably would have been a bit more formal in my wording...But God answered it anyway! Because he knew I was sincere! I'm not encouraging casualness in our speech in prayer, but I am encouraging sincerity! See if you can have an honest, heartfelt prayer with God without using any of the practiced phrases that creep in our prayers too often. Just sincerely tell him how you feel, and I know He will answer you! Just be careful to grab your keys as you're leaving the car. ;)

Resolutions for the new year

Ok all, I know, I know -- it has been way too long since I last blogged! Where on earth did the month of December go?? But it wasn't completely slacking off on my part; my excuse is the business of finals, Christmas show performances, two new jobs, planning a wedding, and just the hecticness of the holiday season. Those are pretty good excuses...right?

But enough of excuses! Let's get back to this business! The talk that I've been studying most recently is 'Of Regrets and Resolutions' by President Uchtdorf (which has made me guilty every time I read it because I obviously didn't have much resolution to get it done). This really is a fabulous talk! Uchtdorf has such a wonderful way of speaking. He is so personable, and yet so direct and profound. He starts out by saying, "My dear brothers and sisters...we are all mortal. I hope this does not come as a surprise to anyone." Although he says this slightly tongue in cheek, this message is vital to understand to truly grasp  and to truly internalize his message. His message is one of regrets. Of things that all men inevitably wish they had been better on.

The problem is, how can we truly regret unless we have an idea of an ending? We do not regret until we see the end is near. The end of the semester is when we regret not staying on top of our schoolwork and studying more. The day before Christmas is when we fight the crowds at Walmart and regret not starting our shopping sooner. The end of the year is when we regret not completing all the resolutions we made at the beginning of the year.Those who do not have regrets are those that have foresight. They are those who are at the beginning, but can still see the end. This is an extremely hard thing to do. Why else would there be so much regret still in the world? But until we can do that, the rest of Uchtdorf's talk is useless to us. We can say how wonderful it is, and how much we felt the spirit, but until we can look to the future (near future for some of us, distant for others) of our mortality, we will find ourselves with these same regrets, wishing we had had these same resolutions.

That is why it is so important to realize that we are indeed all mortal. Such an obvious fact, and yet somehow it does surprise us when we are on the edge of mortality and look back and realize that it is over. That there is no unwind or redo or tomorrow.  This is an end that we don't anticipate, even though we all know that it is the universal end. I say this not from experience, obviously, but from the experiences and words of others. It is important for us to learn from them. There have been many tragedies lately that have caused us to reflect on our lives and hold our loved ones more closely to us, and try a little harder to be closer to God. I hope that we can take these experiences of others and internalize them, and realize that neither us nor our loved ones are immortal, and if we don't strive to be closer to them today, we will regret it tomorrow.

Uchtdorf gives 3 basic regrets in his talk:
1- I wish I had spent more time with the people I love
2- I wish I had lived up to my potential
3- I wish I had let myself be happier

None of these are really very surprising when you look at the world today and the things that the world says are important. Each of these are things that I could go on and on talking about. But that's not really how I want to go about this. I think for each of these regrets, it is important for every person to come up with their own resolutions. There are many, many different ways that a person could prevent these regrets, but not every way is good for every person and every circumstance. What is important, and I believe universal, is that to actually achieve the resolutions to these regrets is to have actual tangible and achievable goals. When I first heard this talk, I thought it was wonderful and inspired. I resolved that I was going to spend more time with the people I loved, live up to my potential, and let myself be happier. The only problem was, I didn't ever come up with a plan, or a goal, on how I would do that. Somehow I thought simply by wanting it, I would achieve it. And thus here I am, months later, and I don't feel like I have accomplished these things.

But the second time I read it through was different. I realized that I needed something specific I could work on so that I could actually see my progress on these resolutions. I realized I needed goals that were SMART (specific, measurable, accountable, realistic, and timely). I decided to write down some specific things that I would do for each one, and look back at them often and record and reflect on how I was doing on them. My mind really likes lists, and check marks, and writing things down, so this method has been very productive for me. But the method really doesn't matter so much as the goals. Make them specific, make them attainable, and if possible, make yourself accountable for them by describing your goals to others and using their encouragement to help you. Look at these three regrets. I think it would be awful for any of us to be on our deathbeds and feeling these regrets. Don't just resolve not to have these regrets. Resolve to specific goals to help you prevent these regrets. The new year is the perfect time to begin new resolutions and to start a life without regrets.

I CAN be a missionary!

I'm going to go ahead and admit it: Sometimes...I don't like talks/lessons about missionary work. I'm a sinner, I know. Most often, I'm not a super extroverted person. I'm not a complete introvert either, but somewhere in the middle. However, I am introverted enough to worry about the things that most young adults typically do: what do my peers think of me? Do I really know enough about this subject to risk raising my hand and voicing my thoughts? Will others get mad/offended/think I'm dumb if I say this or voice my opinion? And because of these worries, most times I prefer to stay silent. Especially when it comes to missionary work. If there was ever a colossal, world-wide can of worms, it would have to be religion. I don't dislike talks on missionary work because of this can of worms aspect, but because whenever I hear them...that's when the guilt sets in. That's when I get that gnawing feeling telling me, 'you feel guilty because you know this is something you should do better at.'

When I heard this talk during conference, that was the reaction. Crap! Here come the feelings of obligation! But studying through it again before writing this post I felt something completely different...I loved it! I really poured over it with the mindset that if an apostle of the Lord thinks it important, I need to think it important. As I did so, the spirit testified the importance of this talk by bringing certain phrases and words of Elder Nelson into special highlight.

The first was at the beginning of his talk when he quoted Pres. Monson: "Every worthy, able young man should prepare to serve a mission. Missionary service is a priesthood duty -- an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much." What really struck me was that last phrase: an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much. Although this quote is specifically talking to young men, we can apply it to all of us. We have been given so much! So much more than we even realize I'm sure. Being a life-long member, I know it's harder for me to see the contrast between a life within the gospel and one without, but even so I know that the gospel blesses me beyond anything else in this world.

What have I done to thank Heavenly Father for the fact that the gospel has always been in my life? Are we truly grateful to the Lord for the blessing He has given us? How do we show that gratitude? What better way to show it than by giving that blessing to others! And as Pres. Monson says, it's not only a nice way to say thank you, it's an obligation. I believe that's true of all of us, not just young priesthood holders. We may not be under the same mandate to serve a full-time mission away from home, but there's still that cute little phrase that fills the likes of me with guilt: every member a missionary! Even if we are not on a full-time mission, we owe it to the Lord to help move his work along! We are so in debt to him that we can never fully repay him, but we must do our absolute best! And let us not forget that it is chiefly through us that the Lord brings his will to pass. We are accountable for each other. Do we really want to be accountable for the lives we could have converted to the gospel but didn't because we were too scared? Would we really deny those blessings to others who need them by staying silent?

Elder Nelson states, "The decision to serve a mission will shape the spiritual destiny of the missionary, his or her spouse, and their posterity for generations to come." Again, I don't think the word 'mission' has to be taken to solely mean a full-time mission. I love the sound of the phrase 'spiritual destiny.' Doesn't that stir something within you? Sounds important, doesn't it? When I read this, I thought about the scriptures that talk about us being shaped by the Lord on a potter's wheel. I've always loved that image. A potter must keep his hands constantly close by or on the clay to help it form the way he wants, which is also the way the Lord works in our lives. I visualize missionary work as a special design that the potter weaves into the clay which forever makes the pot more beautiful and notable. And the best part is that he promises these blessings not only to us, but our family and posterity, for generations to come. The Lord is fair. He knows that missionary work is difficult for many of us. I believe that's one of the reasons that the blessings are so great! Though it is difficult, and maybe sometimes we'd even like to define it as a trial, the Lord gives great dividends!

The most reassuring part of the talk came near the end where his cute, 'Ask the missionaries! They can help you!' catchphrase came in. Each task he set as one that missionaries could help with was something I could say, 'I know how to do that. I know how to help someone with that.' He talked about genealogy, living healthy, strengthening family, serving, etc. The things he talked about weren't hard! They were things any of us who truly live the gospel could talk about! Not once did he mention debates about how old the Earth is or about evolution or whether Mormons have multiple wives. These were meaningful topics that all of us knew a lot about. And really, I think this is what a lot of missionary work is. Sure, you might still get someone asking to see your horns every once in a while, but for the most part, people just want to know how to make their lives better.

I can't say that I'm not still scared. I am. But the Lord doesn't usually take our fear away, only gives us ways in which we can handle it. One piece of advice it gives in the Preach my Gospel handbook is to get better at talking to people in general. There are so many ways we could share the gospel through small conversations that start out as something completely different. Even if the gospel doesn't come up, at least you're practicing your conversation skills, right? :) I've started praying for missionary opportunities and I've tried harder to strike up conversations with others. I know blessings will come from it. I'm still scared, but I've decided to pull myself up by the boot straps and do it anyway. How will I ever learn to not be scared if I don't? That's how we improve ourselves. It's definitely not fun, but it's definitely worth it. :)

A Simple Testimony

I have to admit, I've been procrastinating writing a post on this talk. Not because it was bad, on the contrary, I think it's AMAZING. Because...well, I've never lost a child. I've never lost anyone in my immediate family. No one in my immediate family has ever had any serious health problems. We have always been very blessed in that regard. I anguished over what I would write for this post because I thought, 'what could I possibly contribute to this subject? I have no knowledge, nor experience on this topic.'

But then I realized that there is something that I do have; a testimony. I would like to share my simple testimony with you at this time.

I testify that the Atonement is the single most important event this world has ever known. Without it, we could feel nothing but despair, for all the world would be lost. But because of it, we are all saved. We are all saved. God is not just God, he is a Father, our Heavenly Father who loves us infinitely and eternally. I know that there is no way he would abandon us to this world and abandon us to death without a way to return to him. Especially not a little child. I think of how much love I have for little children, even though I don't have any of my own yet. Just seeing them, watching them explore the world in their innocence, listening to the beautiful, clumsy, simple yet profound things they say fills my heart with gladness. God feels that love at a higher capacity than we can even fathom. If we can feel love for children that aren't even ours, how much greater love does our Heavenly Father have for them, who is their spiritual parent? I testify, with utmost assurance that He loves them more than all the parents in the world can love combined, and that he CANNOT allow them to be lost. Those beautiful young spirits who leave this earth early are brought back into a loving parent's warm embrace in the glories of Heaven. It is because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ that this is possible. He loves us with the same love as our Heavenly Father. He laughs with us, and he cries with us. He feels our hopes and dreams, and also our sorrows. And if we allow him to, he will swallow up our sorrows in his love. He is all powerful, and I testify that as hard and painful as life can be, as unbearable, unfair, and ugly some trails appear to be, he can turn those trials into blessings. He can cause a flower to bloom in the deserts of our lives. I testify that this is true. I know it because I have felt it. I have used his atonement many times in my life. When sorrows seems too hard, He gives me solace. Every time.

Let us all live with these reassurances! God is not only aware of us, we are his full-time occupation. If we allow him to be more than a passing occupation in our lives we will truly see the blessings pour down from Heaven upon us. Our loved ones are not lost, they are simply away from our sight for a moment. Though it hurts to be apart from them, let us live for the day when through the gospel we may see them again! Let us live the way we know those loved ones would want us too! Let us rest in the peace and the assurance that the atonement has entitled us to have. Listen to this talk. Study the atonement. God cannot bless us with knowledge that we do not seek. I urge any one who is suffering to search out for their savior and put their hand in his. I testify that he will be there. I say these things in the loving name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Turning our thoughts inward

Not too long ago I gave a lesson in relief society about the 'why' of the gospel. One of the topics we discussed was why there are certain gospel topics or principles that we repeat over and over. We observed that sometimes we dismiss these topics because we do repeat them; we think that they are not as important because we already know so much about them. But in actuality, the fact that we do have so many repeated lessons on the the same subjects shows just how important they truly are -- and just how much we can learn from them.

The Holy Ghost is one of those oft repeated topics. We know so much about him! We know he is a member of the Godhead, and that he is there to comfort, to inspire, to warn, and to give peace. We know that he loves us the same way God and Jesus love us and that he knows our thoughts and feelings, and that because of this he knows how best to help us. We know so much about him! And maybe because of this, we might feel tempted to disregard Elder Christensen's talk as not as important as others. But because it was in General Conference I know that it is important! I know that it is a topic Heavenly Father wants me to learn even more about! So I determined that I would find something in Elder Christensen's talk that expanded my knowledge of the Holy Ghost. As much as I knew about him, I knew that Elder Christensen could teach me more.

I was very struck by the story he told of his son in the Bountiful Temple.  Near the end of his talk he talked about how while he had been struck by the beauty of the Temple around him and the outward appearance, his son had been touched by the spirit within him. As I listened to this again, I received a strong impression that this is what the Holy Ghost wants us to know about him. Like God the Father and Jesus, the Holy Ghost knows our thoughts and feelings. He knows us probably better than we really know ourselves, because he only focuses on our thoughts and feelings. He is not concerned with outward things. They do not affect him. They do not change him. They do not distract him. And yet we let them distract us. How often do we take time to sit and ponder our thoughts and feelings? How often do we take the time to block out the outside influences, and experience only what is on the inside? How often do we take the time to reflect on why we are having those feelings or thoughts? And even then, how many times are we actually honest with ourselves about the feelings and thoughts we have? We often find ourselves so busy, so full of things to do, that yes we think, but we don't spend much time thinking about what we think about. Does that make any sense? And sometimes when we do think about it, we rationalize, or pretend it wasn't real, or just ignore it.

We may have our reasons, but the great thing about the Holy Ghost is that he isn't affected by all of that. The only thing he is busy with is our thoughts and feelings. It's his full-time job! He doesn't care about how the world views things, because he sees things how they really are. As I thought about this, a recent experience came to my mind. A couple days ago I lost an ipod touch that my fiance had given me. I really really wanted to find it, because it has something on it that is important to me, but it wasn't in any of the places I looked. I knelt down and prayed about it. I told Heavenly Father, 'I know you have a lot more important things to worry about right now, but I really want to find this ipod. Please help me.' I thought it was a little silly that I was praying about something so material, but I did it anyway. I felt the spirit telling me that I would find it. The next day it was found. I probably said at least three separate prayers that day thanking Heavenly Father for answering my prayer. I realized that He wasn't paying attention to the material value when he answered my prayer, He saw my feelings and my thoughts, and knew why I wanted to find it, and because of that answered my prayer. Not because he knew it was an expensive item, but because he knew how I felt about it. I hadn't wanted to pray about it at first because it seemed silly, but God and the Holy Ghost looks on our feelings and thoughts, not on the outward impression of things. They know how things truly are. That is why they know the absolute best way to help us!

After this talk, I feel a greater desire to understand the inward things. I want to understand my own thoughts and feelings better. I feel that by doing this, I can come to better know and understand the Holy Ghost and recognize his impressions. About a year ago, I gave a Sunday School lesson in which I challenged my students to take 15 minutes that week and just close their eyes and think and feel and give the Spirit time and space to speak to them. I'd like to reissue that challenge, to myself and to anyone else who might read this. Find a quiet place and a time you won't be interrupted. Say a prayer first, asking Heavenly Father to speak to you the things he wants you to know. It doesn't have to be anything specific. Then close your eyes and just allow the impressions to come into your heart and mind. You might want to have paper and a pen nearby to write down specific actions you feel impressed to take. I've done this before, and it truly was amazing. The impressions that came to my mind were things I hadn't even been thinking of, things I didn't even know I needed, but things that blessed my life enormously. It can be hard to find the time, but sacrifice just a little in order to let the spirit speak with you. He wants to so badly! There is so much that he can teach us if we let him.

I was going to try and make this one shorter, but it still turned out kind of long...oh well. It's been such a fun experience writing these blog posts! It's all I can do to stop myself from writing a novel for each one! I have no idea if they are helping any one else, but as for me, they've been such a blessing!  :)

Have the confidence to stand out

Hello there! Sorry I wasn't able to get this post up yesterday like I said I would! It was a busy weekend! Phew!

I absolutely love this talk by Sister Dibb! She has so much emotion, and so much expression, I think it would be almost impossible not to feel the spirit when listening to this talk!

Whenever I reread or listen to conference talks, it's seems that there is always one phrase or sentence that really sticks out to me that I didn't notice before. This is one of the reasons why I love to review the talks and I feel it's important; the first time I listen to the talk I feel the overreaching message that they are trying to convey, but when I go back and review, I find beautiful gems of revelation that are just as true as that overarching message, but just didn't penetrate the first time through. For this talk, it was one of her very first sentences: "The blessings you receive because of your goodness affect not only your lives but also my life and the lives of countless others in profound but often unknown ways." Brothers and sisters, there is power in this phrase! When I read that I just had to stop and think about all that this implies. When we are righteous, we receive blessings from God, but that's not where the story ends! Those blessings, though given to us, continue on like a ripple and bless other people as well! And then they are blessed, and their blessing ripple out to bless even more people! We know that one of the mandates of this church is that we must serve others, and though we all must continue in our efforts and duties to those around us, I find it so comforting to know that by being righteous and blessing my own life, I can serve others as well! It's like double dipping. Only this kind is acceptable.To me, the rest of the talk is an expounding on the kind of blessings we can give ourselves that also reach out to bless others.

I love her catchphrase. Who doesn't? It so simple and concise, but so powerful. I also love the imagery she gives of having this catchphrase printed on her t-shirt. We all care a lot about what other people think about us, and probably one of our biggest concerns in this area is our appearance. We dress for ourselves, but we also dress for others. Our dress says something about ourselves, and tells others what we want them to think about us. By having this catchphrase symbolically printed on her t-shirt, she is declaring to the world what she believes, and what she wants people to think about her. And her catchphrase is the perfect way to not only bless ourselves, but others as well! This phrase belongs to someone who has the confidence to stand out.

I'm A Mormon. How hard is this for us to admit sometimes? It's not that we go out of our way to hide our religion, but sometimes we shy away from admitting it. I'm sure many of us have had times where we felt uncomfortable because activities or conversations around us were not in line with our standards. I know that I have. Sometimes I have the courage to say, 'can we talk about something else,' or 'can we talk about something else?' But other times I simply faded into the background, and try my hardest to ignore it. Not because it didn't bother me, but because I was too afraid to stand up and say anything. I was thinking about what others would think of me, instead of what the most important person, Christ, would think. Was he ashamed or disappointed in me at those times? I can't help but think he was a little bit. I know that he always loves me, and all of us, but at those times I'm sure he felt sadness that I did not have the courage to stand out and stand up. What blessings could I have added unto myself? What if there was someone else in the crowd who also felt uncomfortable and also could have been blessed? I want to strive harder to stand up for what I know a Mormon should be and believe in.

I know it. "Are we as well versed in gospel truths as we are in our studies, careers, hobbies, sports, or our texts and tweets? Do we actively seek to find answers to our questions by feasting on the scriptures and the teachings of the prophets? Do we seek the confirmation of the Spirit?" I think these are great evaluating questions to ask ourselves. And really, what better way is there to bless ourselves than by continually learning more and more about the gospel? And in turn, how easy it is to bless others when we have knowledge that we can pass on!

I live it. Once we have that knowledge, we have got to go out and live it! I can't stress that enough! It's far too easy sometimes to talk about how great Sunday was or how great conference was and then forget that we have a responsibility to go out and do the things we have learned! That's why we go to college, right? So that we can learn things that we will eventually do for a career. It's the same way with the gospel! We learn it not just because it's nice, or because it makes us feel good; we learn it because we must use it! We must be doers of the work!

I love it. I love it when the talks at conference intersect and compliment each other, because it's then that you know that they are true doctrine. The first thing I thought about as I heard this last sentence of Sister Dibb's catchphrase was Elder Cook's talk that he gave right before hers. I gave thoughts at length about this talk in the previous post, but basically, he talks about this love of the gospel, and how we must strive to keep it in our lives! He also gives great ways in which we can do this, so go back and give his talk another listen!

I feel so much gratitude to Sister Dibb for giving this talk. It has given me the desire to increase my courage and confidence to stand out. I feel motivated to do this because I know that it will bless more than just me. As she says, it will bring forth blessings in countless and profound ways. I may not be able to see all these blessings, or ever know that they are occurring, but I have a testimony that what she says surely will come to pass. Knowing that, how could I not strive to do better? I hope that we all can have the confidence to stand out. We have wonderful opportunities before us, so let's go out there and put them on our t-shirts! I'm a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it!

Let's 'Feel So Now!'

“If ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?” (Alma 5:26)

As an active member of the church, there are many times that I’ve experienced these feelings. I’m sure many others can relate that when the spirit is strong and resounds in your heart it just makes it impossible to stay still. It’s like your heart has become a bouncy ball, bouncing higher and higher and pushing you up and out of your seat and into action! It makes you think, ‘I can do anything!’ And then you go out and do it.

The pure feelings of the gospel are so powerful, but it’s hard to keep those feelings with you all the time. It’s disheartening when you realize that you can’t ‘feel so now.’ Elder Cook explains that many times, the reason we can’t ‘feel so now’ has to do with some kind of lack of commitment. He says it is important for us to evaluate what it is in our lives that are making it so that we can’t ‘feel so now.’

Why is this so important, that we 'feel so now'? As I thought about that question I realized that it is at that time that the gospel becomes easy. It is when we have those penetrating feelings of the spirit that we feel not only the courage, but also the intense desire to do those things that we have been commanded. This is when we go above and beyond. These are the moments of our discipleship that we really remember; because they are the moments we went above and beyond. We are so much happier when we are in that state; how could we not be? We are so much closer to God and his Spirit!

When we are in a “spiritual drought,” or feeling apathetic to the gospel, it’s so much harder to live it. The world pushes on us from every angle, and distorts our vision. Not only does it make wrong things seem ok, but it makes the right things seem so much harder to achieve, so far out of our grasp. It tells that we are barely average, and not good enough to be a true disciple. It tells us that it’s ok to start tomorrow instead of today, because tomorrow we’ll try harder; but then that tomorrow never comes.

I decided that I wanted to evaluate some reasons why I sometimes have a hard time ‘feeling so now.’ As I mentioned before, Elder Cook states that it is in a lack of commitment that this spiritual drought comes, and he gives several specific examples of this:  

1. Some are casual in their observance of sacred covenants. 

2.Others spend most of their time giving first-class devotion to lesser causes. 

3.Some allow intense cultural or political views to weaken their allegiance to the gospel of Jesus Christ. 4.Some have immersed themselves in Internet materials that magnify, exaggerate, and, in some cases, invent shortcomings of early Church leaders.” 

Later, he gives a couple more examples: 

5.unkindness, violence, and domestic abuse, and 

6.sexual immorality and impure thoughts.

Out of these specific examples, what are some things in your own life that may cause a lack of spiritual commitment?

The one that struck me the hardest was ‘giving first-class devotion to lesser causes.’ Isn’t that a powerful phrase? When I read this, I knew that this was the one I wanted to work on. This is definitely something I struggle with! There are so many fun ‘lesser causes’ out there! Probably my biggest one is the internet. I definitely have a devotion to the internet. Facebook. Pinterest. Email. Pottermore. Blogs. Newsfeeds. I love it! And sometimes, I spend an inordinate amount of time on it! The internet is a wonderful thing, don’t get me wrong, and all of these sites are good too; I never do anything bad on them, but sometimes they take up time that I should be spending on other things. I could be spending more time with my family; I could be spending more time on my homework, or my scripture study. I could probably learn a new amazing talent in the time I waste on the internet! It seems that as I spend a lot of time wasting time on the internet, my senses begin to dull, and the apathy of the world creeps in. It's harder to have a commitment to the gospel when I'd rather be surfing the net! So I’ve set a goal for myself. I determined a decent amount of time that I’m allowed to spend on the internet every day. So far it’s going well (it’s been two days, ha ha!)

Besides just decreasing my devotion to lesser causes, I also want to increase my devotion to higher causes! That’s why I’ve made another goal, to be more respectful of the Sabbath, and not do homework or things of that nature on that day. Now to be clear, I think that homework, and education and bettering one’s self is a wonderful cause! As I stated earlier, I find surfing the internet to be a lesser cause to homework. But likewise, I find homework to be a lesser cause to spiritual growth and development. It’s a good, better, best thing. I will strive harder to get those kind of things done on Saturday so that Sunday can truly be a day of devotion for me.

I know that these are good goals for me, because as I was making them and putting them into practice I could feel that burning of the spirit within me again. I know that both of them are just small things really, but even these small things will bring the spirit that much more into my life! But just because these are good goals for me to help my spiritual commitment, doesn’t mean that they are for you. Looking back at Elder Cook’s talk, are there any of the specific examples that he gives that you know you need to work on? What is a small goal that you can make today to help take that out of your life and replace it with commitment? I only focused on one of the examples he gave, but I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on the rest of his talk, and maybe some examples of how you’re going to change them in your life! What are your thoughts?

Ps, I’m going out of town for the next few days, so expect my next blog post on Sister Dibb’s talk on Sunday. (I’m excited about that one!) J