I CAN be a missionary!

I'm going to go ahead and admit it: Sometimes...I don't like talks/lessons about missionary work. I'm a sinner, I know. Most often, I'm not a super extroverted person. I'm not a complete introvert either, but somewhere in the middle. However, I am introverted enough to worry about the things that most young adults typically do: what do my peers think of me? Do I really know enough about this subject to risk raising my hand and voicing my thoughts? Will others get mad/offended/think I'm dumb if I say this or voice my opinion? And because of these worries, most times I prefer to stay silent. Especially when it comes to missionary work. If there was ever a colossal, world-wide can of worms, it would have to be religion. I don't dislike talks on missionary work because of this can of worms aspect, but because whenever I hear them...that's when the guilt sets in. That's when I get that gnawing feeling telling me, 'you feel guilty because you know this is something you should do better at.'

When I heard this talk during conference, that was the reaction. Crap! Here come the feelings of obligation! But studying through it again before writing this post I felt something completely different...I loved it! I really poured over it with the mindset that if an apostle of the Lord thinks it important, I need to think it important. As I did so, the spirit testified the importance of this talk by bringing certain phrases and words of Elder Nelson into special highlight.

The first was at the beginning of his talk when he quoted Pres. Monson: "Every worthy, able young man should prepare to serve a mission. Missionary service is a priesthood duty -- an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much." What really struck me was that last phrase: an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much. Although this quote is specifically talking to young men, we can apply it to all of us. We have been given so much! So much more than we even realize I'm sure. Being a life-long member, I know it's harder for me to see the contrast between a life within the gospel and one without, but even so I know that the gospel blesses me beyond anything else in this world.

What have I done to thank Heavenly Father for the fact that the gospel has always been in my life? Are we truly grateful to the Lord for the blessing He has given us? How do we show that gratitude? What better way to show it than by giving that blessing to others! And as Pres. Monson says, it's not only a nice way to say thank you, it's an obligation. I believe that's true of all of us, not just young priesthood holders. We may not be under the same mandate to serve a full-time mission away from home, but there's still that cute little phrase that fills the likes of me with guilt: every member a missionary! Even if we are not on a full-time mission, we owe it to the Lord to help move his work along! We are so in debt to him that we can never fully repay him, but we must do our absolute best! And let us not forget that it is chiefly through us that the Lord brings his will to pass. We are accountable for each other. Do we really want to be accountable for the lives we could have converted to the gospel but didn't because we were too scared? Would we really deny those blessings to others who need them by staying silent?

Elder Nelson states, "The decision to serve a mission will shape the spiritual destiny of the missionary, his or her spouse, and their posterity for generations to come." Again, I don't think the word 'mission' has to be taken to solely mean a full-time mission. I love the sound of the phrase 'spiritual destiny.' Doesn't that stir something within you? Sounds important, doesn't it? When I read this, I thought about the scriptures that talk about us being shaped by the Lord on a potter's wheel. I've always loved that image. A potter must keep his hands constantly close by or on the clay to help it form the way he wants, which is also the way the Lord works in our lives. I visualize missionary work as a special design that the potter weaves into the clay which forever makes the pot more beautiful and notable. And the best part is that he promises these blessings not only to us, but our family and posterity, for generations to come. The Lord is fair. He knows that missionary work is difficult for many of us. I believe that's one of the reasons that the blessings are so great! Though it is difficult, and maybe sometimes we'd even like to define it as a trial, the Lord gives great dividends!

The most reassuring part of the talk came near the end where his cute, 'Ask the missionaries! They can help you!' catchphrase came in. Each task he set as one that missionaries could help with was something I could say, 'I know how to do that. I know how to help someone with that.' He talked about genealogy, living healthy, strengthening family, serving, etc. The things he talked about weren't hard! They were things any of us who truly live the gospel could talk about! Not once did he mention debates about how old the Earth is or about evolution or whether Mormons have multiple wives. These were meaningful topics that all of us knew a lot about. And really, I think this is what a lot of missionary work is. Sure, you might still get someone asking to see your horns every once in a while, but for the most part, people just want to know how to make their lives better.

I can't say that I'm not still scared. I am. But the Lord doesn't usually take our fear away, only gives us ways in which we can handle it. One piece of advice it gives in the Preach my Gospel handbook is to get better at talking to people in general. There are so many ways we could share the gospel through small conversations that start out as something completely different. Even if the gospel doesn't come up, at least you're practicing your conversation skills, right? :) I've started praying for missionary opportunities and I've tried harder to strike up conversations with others. I know blessings will come from it. I'm still scared, but I've decided to pull myself up by the boot straps and do it anyway. How will I ever learn to not be scared if I don't? That's how we improve ourselves. It's definitely not fun, but it's definitely worth it. :)

A Simple Testimony

I have to admit, I've been procrastinating writing a post on this talk. Not because it was bad, on the contrary, I think it's AMAZING. Because...well, I've never lost a child. I've never lost anyone in my immediate family. No one in my immediate family has ever had any serious health problems. We have always been very blessed in that regard. I anguished over what I would write for this post because I thought, 'what could I possibly contribute to this subject? I have no knowledge, nor experience on this topic.'

But then I realized that there is something that I do have; a testimony. I would like to share my simple testimony with you at this time.

I testify that the Atonement is the single most important event this world has ever known. Without it, we could feel nothing but despair, for all the world would be lost. But because of it, we are all saved. We are all saved. God is not just God, he is a Father, our Heavenly Father who loves us infinitely and eternally. I know that there is no way he would abandon us to this world and abandon us to death without a way to return to him. Especially not a little child. I think of how much love I have for little children, even though I don't have any of my own yet. Just seeing them, watching them explore the world in their innocence, listening to the beautiful, clumsy, simple yet profound things they say fills my heart with gladness. God feels that love at a higher capacity than we can even fathom. If we can feel love for children that aren't even ours, how much greater love does our Heavenly Father have for them, who is their spiritual parent? I testify, with utmost assurance that He loves them more than all the parents in the world can love combined, and that he CANNOT allow them to be lost. Those beautiful young spirits who leave this earth early are brought back into a loving parent's warm embrace in the glories of Heaven. It is because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ that this is possible. He loves us with the same love as our Heavenly Father. He laughs with us, and he cries with us. He feels our hopes and dreams, and also our sorrows. And if we allow him to, he will swallow up our sorrows in his love. He is all powerful, and I testify that as hard and painful as life can be, as unbearable, unfair, and ugly some trails appear to be, he can turn those trials into blessings. He can cause a flower to bloom in the deserts of our lives. I testify that this is true. I know it because I have felt it. I have used his atonement many times in my life. When sorrows seems too hard, He gives me solace. Every time.

Let us all live with these reassurances! God is not only aware of us, we are his full-time occupation. If we allow him to be more than a passing occupation in our lives we will truly see the blessings pour down from Heaven upon us. Our loved ones are not lost, they are simply away from our sight for a moment. Though it hurts to be apart from them, let us live for the day when through the gospel we may see them again! Let us live the way we know those loved ones would want us too! Let us rest in the peace and the assurance that the atonement has entitled us to have. Listen to this talk. Study the atonement. God cannot bless us with knowledge that we do not seek. I urge any one who is suffering to search out for their savior and put their hand in his. I testify that he will be there. I say these things in the loving name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.